"What did you do at school today?" "Nothing." This isn't defiance or secrecy. At 5, 6, and 7, kids struggle to pull a whole day out of memory and hand it to you in an answer. The question is too big. Smaller, more specific questions work better.
Why "nothing" isn't a real answer, and isn't meant to be one
Young kids are still building the skill of freely recalling and organizing a stretch of time into words. "How was your day" asks them to search through hours of loosely connected moments with no cue to help them find anything. "Nothing" is often a genuine "I don't know where to start," not a wall going up.
Questions that work better
- "What was the silliest thing that happened today?"
- "Who did you sit next to at lunch?"
- "What was the best part of recess?"
- "Did anything make you laugh?"
These give a specific hook to grab onto instead of an open field to search.
The side-by-side conversation
Car rides, bath time, building with blocks, walking to the mailbox: kids this age often talk more when they're doing something with their hands and don't have to look right at you. Sit-down, face-to-face conversations can feel like an interview. Side-by-side ones feel like just being together.
When they do share something
Resist jumping straight to fixing it or asking a string of follow-up questions. Reflect first instead: "That sounds like it made you mad." Kids this age often need to hear their feeling named back to them before they're ready to say more.
A note on timing
Right after school or right at bedtime are often the worst times to ask for details: kids are either decompressing or winding down, not narrating. A snack-time or bath-time check-in later in the afternoon often gets more.